License to Thrill

I just applied for my Passport. I'm 23. Apparently some people think I should have done this a long time ago, *cough*F-bomb*cough*,  whatever. It hasn't been a problem before, but now that I have it i'm thinking about all the awesome places I could go visit!

Destination number 1!
 Fruita, Colorado's "Mike the Headless Chicken Festival"
No, I'm not kidding. In 1945 someone cut the head of a chicken and he lived for another 18 months. If that's not festival material I don't know what is*. This year they have a 5K race, music, a petting zoo, lawnmower races (!), and, of course, a chicken wing-eating contest.
I'm not telling you when it is because I don't want anyone going and sucking the fun out of it before I get there.

Destination number 2!
Clinton, Montana's "Testicle Festival"
Uhh. Bull Balls. That's about it. Apparently about 4000 pounds are consumed every year.
Just so we're clear, I don't want to chow on some nut. But I am very curious to see what kind of people eat 4000 pounds of this a year.


Destination number 3!
This just got awkward.
I seriously just spent like 20 minutes googling to try and come up with something else. No go. Turns out I didn't have a Passport for a reason.
Maybe I'm just to sleepy to make this post funny.
I had a plan, it didn't really come together.
I would feel guilty if you all weren't a bunch of freeloaders. I don't owe you anything!!
Uh-oh. I'm getting cranky, I should take a nap.




*If you disagree, let's see you pull it off, hotshot.