Consumer Rage

It's a good thing for the city of Edmonton that I have never been exposed to dangerously high amounts of Gamma radiation.
If that were the case i'm sure I would have destroyed half of the city today.
Then probably took a nap.

Here's the deal, I had some errands to run today, involving 3 locations:
The Fed-Ex Depot for my DVD box set of Sweet Valley High new contact lenses.
Rona for super manly man stuff....ok. Recycling bins that the F-bomb requested.
TD bank. Figure it out.

As any wise man/boy such as myself would do I google mapped the hell out of this town, finding the Fed-ex depot and the closest corresponding Rona, assuming there would be ample TD banks along the way.

If this was Shakespeare this would be the part where the CEO of TD has a little soliloquy explaining to everyone else that he fucking hates me and wants to ruin my day. It's probably because he's a cock-holster.

Stop #1!!
This Fed-Ex depot, like every Fed-Ex depot, is buried in an industrial area within a maze of stupid roads each with an 'a' and a 'b' (For instance 87 a street). Luckily, I had previously worked in the area and did not have much trouble finding the place. I did have trouble believing that the guy behind the counter was actually sporting a pony-tail. Really? Still? Cmon.

Stop #2-3!!
Google maps had shown me the closest Rona to the Fed-ex, which luckily was nearby. Although in its infinite wisdom Google failed to label this particular Rona as completely shitty. Seriously, they didn't have any of the things that were on the Rona website. It was all like, lumber, and tools. Who needs that?
So, I had to find another Rona. I went to the location of the only other one I was aware of, on Calgary Trail, and was managed to discover what I needed there. I only had to go 30 blocks out of my way to get it.

Stop #3-5!!
TD fucking Bank. Apparently TD stands for Total Dicks. Wait, or Terrible Douches. I can do better....Tyrannical Dorks?
There was one about 5 blocks away from Rona, "Oh, how convenient" I say to myself. What I should of said to myself was "Jeez self, today looks like a great day to drive around with your thumb up your ass." When I got to TD I discovered that it was closed for renovations, or something. Closed anyways. Damn it. So, onward to the next one. I tried to think best location, that would suit my return trip home, one came to mind, that was the least out of my way...but still out of my way.
Hey, guess what?
No really. Guess.
I'll wait....


*picks teeth*


*fart*


No? No ideas?
Ok. Yeah. It was fucking closed for some reason too.
RAAARRRGGGG RYAN SMASH PUNY BANK!!!


I was a little upset. I went to a third location, it was open. I did my banking. The end.
Wait.
Fuck TD.
Now The End.