Winter Holiday Themed Blog!

I know what you're thinking:
"Why am I on this stupid website again? Every time I try to go to Facebook I end up here! I think something is wrong with my computer."

Oh there's nothing wrong my darlings, I've just hired a little outside help to hack your computers to my benefit.

Luckily, Nino works for pie.

Right after that thought though, your next thought was more than likely:
"Huh, that seems a rather un-festive blog title Ryan. It just...it's not very fun. MAKE IT FESTIVE RYAN."
In my defence the original title was "You're all going to hate me because I'm not down with Christmas in the crazy-over-the-top-best-thing-ever-stop-talking-about-anything-but-christmas-for-two-months sort of way."
I think this one rolls off the tongue a bit easier. (Side note: Say tongue. Then write/type tongue. Then double check it to make sure it is spelled right. Then realize it's sort of a creepy word...Moist Tongue. Ughh. Ok, I'm done.)

Yeah. Christmas. Pffft.
Now, a lot of you out there are like "OOOhhhh my god Ryan. How dare you!" My F-bomb included. However, if I were to say, Ramadan...Pffft.
A lot of you would have nothing to say. You know who would have something to say? Muslims. It's kind of a big deal for them.
You say "Oh, ok, this makes sense. It's part of their religion so they would care."
Absolutely, good point imaginary reader.
My counter-point:
Then why the hell do you care about Christmas so damn much?
For a good majority of you out there Christmas is not part of your religion, or you don't have a religion, or you "have" a religion. Meaning you say that you are "Insert-relgious-denomination" and thus have to "Arbitrary Tradition" or must not "Arbitrary Rule", and yet don't go to any sort of church, don't follow all of the arbitrary rules and traditions, and probably don't really know that much about it.

But you know what guys? Totally fine.
Totally. I am in no way offended by any of those actions. Do your thing, it's cool.
BUT LET ME DO MINE.
Seriously. Fuck off.
I'm allowed to not go apeshit over Christmas.
I'm FOR SURE allowed to hate annoying Christmas songs.
This doesn't make me a "Grouch" or a "Grinch" or a "Grunt" (That's cunt, but with a G, because apparently all Christmas haters start with Gr's).
I don't tell the F-bomb and the future Mother-in-Law to STOP loving Christmas, so how come I have to START loving it?
I'm not being a jerk, I'm not actively trying to ruin anyone's Christmas. I'm not some kind of monster.
Well...I'm not a monster to you people.
Some would say otherwise.

"I feel like some one is watching me. Also, it smells like farts all of a sudden."

Uhh. Anyways.
I'm not all jazzed up about Christmas, and this shouldn't be a big deal for you.
As stated earlier, it is primarily a religious holiday. I don't have one of those, so I'm out.
"Oh but Ryan," says the imaginary reader who hasn't learned to shut the fuck up yet, "It's not just a religious thing anymore. Many people from many different cultures now celebrate and take part in traditional Christmas festivities!"
So what?
Over 12 million people play World of Warcraft, and some of them follow it religiously.
That doesn't mean I can get pissed at you for not playing and demand we do this once yearly:

Oh, and a fat guy coming down your chimney is totally reasonable?

All I'm saying is, you like what you like, I'll like what I like. If they happen to overlap, great, we can enjoy them together.
But you can't be pissed that I don't shit my pants over the prospect of listening to the same 19 songs on a loop for two months straight in every store I go into.


P.S.- Both my F-bomb and the M-Law are very lovely, great ladies. I very much admire there passion for certain holidays, and expect that one day my kids will have a blast doing all the Christmas stuff with them. It still doesn't change my opinion. Don't be mad at me ladies.