A little something to hold you over.

I'm going on vacation bitches!

Wooo!

It's going to be beaches, bikinis, partying hard, sunshine, and cocktails!

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Why do you need to know where?

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Somewhere fun, can't you just be happy with that?

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Fine. My Grandma's.

But she's awesome, so fuck you.

I'll be gone for the next week, and there is no internet access at the cottage (Gasp! How will I survive without checking my Facebook every 14 seconds! Answer? By drinking!) so I thought I would leave my loyal followers with a post before I go-go.

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Yeah.

That was pretty lame. Deal with it.

*Ahem*

A lot of Bloggers might obscure their true identity, or, try to project some sort of "Blogging Alter-Ego" (this is probably not true, seeing as I just made it up) Not me though.

I find that really the only thing this blog has going for it is that people like to laugh about my shortcomings and feel better about themselves. I am very ok with this.

I'm also ok with talking about myself. A lot.

Really, this is my Blog.

If I want to devote an entire post to me, I'm going to do it and you can't stop me.

As such I have prepared a little post I like to call:

The Changing Face of Ryan Phillips.

Or

Ryans in Time!!!

This little number is from High School. I think I'm about 18 years old. I've just been hit in the groin, which I am now icing with frozen...something. Fries maybe. You'll also notice I weigh about 7.5 lbs. 

To really juxtapose that last picture I've gone with a little number I like to call "Where the fuck is my Neck?" You'll notice a Chandler-esque transformation into some sort of Sloth-like beast. Also, this photo was taken on the day I proposed. I can't believe she said yes to that neck. Moving on...

Here I am in an elevator being presented by a blonde girl who probably is not important (snap!). As I recall the conversation went like this:

Camera-person:Say Blonde girl, do you have any faces for sale?

Blonde Girl: Why yes, I have this face right here *Hand Motion*

Ryan: I"M IN AN ELEVATOR. 

You'll notice by the sudden reappearance of my neck that we have ventured backwards in time towards my younger days. 

Hmm...that's odd. I don't have a stupid look on my face....I thought that was a prerequisite for photo's of me. This must be some sort of Photo-shop deal.

Ahhh, yes. This seems more reasonable. Also, as the F-bomb can verify, I hate pants. I really do my best to avoid wearing them as much as possible. FYI, not wearing pants as I type this.

At this point you are probably saying to yourself, "Wow Ryan, you are correct. You do not photograph well." You would be right.

At this point some of the more savvy readers might be saying to themselves "Well geez Ryan, it seems to me like you are drinking in all of those photos. In fact, in a majority of them we can actually see drinks or the bar in the background." Good for you savvy reader! Very observant, even though we feel like we are getting better looking as we drink, we definitely are not.

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I hear what you are saying, alcohol is our friend.

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Proof that alcohol is to blame? Well..not really.

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Un-biased research? Ok...I'll give it a try.

Oh. Well. I guess I don't look terrible here, and I've been drinking. Also, I'm in a bar. Hmm...maybe my theory was wrong...

Well...this looks fine too. Weird. Oh wait....hold on a second.

Fuck.