Time to take out the White-Trash.

I went on an awesome camping escapade this weekend. It was my buddy Cory's birthday so a bunch of us headed down to a local site to frolic in the glory that is nature.

I didn't take any pictures, because I didn't take my camera...because I can't even take care of myself, let alone electronics. However, other people did, and as soon as I get sent some I will let you all share in the glory.

For now however, you can share my pain:

I honestly don't think that photo does the searing flesh of solar tyranny justice; It hurts to breath. (You'll notice that my MacBook WebCam skillz are increasing, I managed to include all the good burn marks, and the look of Pain/Terror on my face, but cut it off right before the image of my supple, yet firm, man-breasts.)

My own fault. I know. I was busy Icing Bros, I couldn't apply SPF Fucking Hot Out. (I think that's around 15 or so.)

At this point in the blog we come to more important matters, a life lesson of sorts:

NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM BEING WHITE-TRASH

Take the above photo into account. That tan line is clearly a Hanes Tagless Men's White Tank, or as it is more commonly known a "wife-beater". No doubt called this due to the propensity of fans of said shirt to be avid domestic offenders.

Now, let's be clear blog, all 13 (What? 13? HolyShit, I'm like Oprah...except you know...not from Chicago.) of you: Domestic Violence is not funny in any capacity (except when a woman is beating up a man - that's fucking hilarious) and should not be ignored. If you know someone who is a victim of domestic violence don't ignore it.

That being said, dressing like a redneck is hilarious. Especially when camping and drinking dangerously large amounts of alcohol. It does have it's downside though; the burns.

To further back up my point...

Who is he hurting you say? What's wrong about this? He's just enjoying some music and a sweet-fucking haircut?

It has it's consequences:

Yeah. If I ever let my 17 year old daughter go to a party dressed like that just slap me. With a fist.

I know a bunch of you shitty parents are all like "Oh whatever, it's covering as much as a bathing suit." Yes, it is. But a bathing suit serves a purpose, it's for going swimming.

You put a bathing suit on with the express purpose of swimming, or perhaps sun tanning. Both fairly acceptable practices.

What do you think the purpose of this outfit is for?

It's to look like a damn hussy. It's to turn on young (and, unfortunately old) boys and make young (also, even more unfortunately old) girls want to dress and act the same. All with the purpose of making money.

Don't get me wrong, I am not at all against using one's body to make tha' chedda' (Do the kids still call it this?...I mean money), in fact, if anybody wanted to pay to see mine I might totally do it.

But come on, at least wait until she's a grown up. Have a smidge of decency.