Wednesday, October 6, 2010

What's this "Campaign Strategy" you speak of?

Sometimes stories just write themselves.

I'm sitting in my Management Information Systems class Thursday morning, getting all pumped up about the prospect of learning (you know how I do...),  when something down right hilarious happened. Well, I think it's hilarious, and I am the cruel and unrelenting dictator of this blog.

The instructor asks a group students something along the lines of "Oh I thought he wanted to do it this morning." (Keep your that's what he saids to yourselves, I'm pretty certain I missed the beginning of their conversation.) These students replied with a "Totally, yeah, but he slept in, he's on his way."

I didn't think a lot of it at the time, we often get people making announcements for their clubs, or sporting events, or whatever. We are about one step above community college, the instructors don't give a fuck. I could ask if it would be ok for me to give an announcement about a Starcraft LAN party I'm trying to throw and they'd be all like "DON'T TALK TO ME. I don't get paid enough for this....whatever."

So yeah, this guy eventually rolls in late. Messy hair, T-shirt, douchey looking motorcycle jacket. Which I realize is for safety, but it's not my fault it looks douchey. Once the instructor starts chatting with him I realize that this is the guy, and he goes up to make his presentation. I'm not really paying attention, but as soon as he starts in I know this is something I have to listen to...(this is fairly close to exactly what he said, I can't remember it word for word, but I promise I'm not trying to make it sound more hilarious.)

"Yeah, so, uhh, Student Elections are coming up, and you guys need to like, vote. Only like ten percent of the student population votes."

Ok, that makes sense, good for you. Voting is good...I don't do it, but I hear good things.


"So, for like, the Student Council, pretty much whoever gets nominated gets put on there, so just vote yes for everyone. It doesn't really matter. I'm running for *something something Business something*  and there can only be one of those."

Ok, What? You are actually running for something? In competition with someone else? I'm in Business, this could effect me. You don't seem on the ball, I should definitely listen so I know what your plans are.


"The other guy that is running, you've probably seen him around, he's giving out brochures. He's got a moustache, so don't vote for him."

First, brochures are smart. Where the hell are your brochures? I know nothing about anything you plan to do. Second, I will vote for any man with a moustache, big mistake telling me that.


Crap.
"Uhh, that's pretty much everything. Cool. Thanks bros."

How the fuck is that it? What are your plans once elected? What does the position entail. What is the other guy doing that makes you more qualified? Really, say anything related to the position at this point.


He really is finished and sits down, which prompts another person in class to say exactly what I was thinking:

"Guy, you didn't even tell us what your name was, how are we supposed to vote for you?"

"Oh, cmon I'm *Name-not-worth-remembering*, I'm the loud mouth in all of your classes. Everyone knows me."

This guy is in none of my other classes. I've also never noticed him stand out in this one before. I could tell by the looks on peoples faces I wasn't the only one thinking this. He has given us absolutely no aspect of a qualification for the position, but ensure us that he is a loudmouth. I believe this guy just committed political suicide.
"Blow-job joke to be added at later date"